Posts

Dissidents, colonialism, and 50th birthdays

Image
I recently attended the International Leadership Association conference in Prague, CZ.  While I've had experience in Prague before (backpacking in 1999), I have been largely ignorant of the political history of the place.  In theater school, I studied the absurdist plays written by Vaclav Havel ; however, I had only a surface understanding of the Stalinist communism that inspired these works. I also had no idea that Havel had become the first President in the Czech Republic following the fall of communism in 1989.    My time at the conference enabled me to dig more deeply into these things.  I attended a pre-conference workshop that consisted of a walking tour of Prague, where we literally followed Havel's footsteps through his life as a dissident in the 1960s, 70s, and 80s.  I had the opportunity to meet and speak with two of the people who were student leaders during the Velvet Revolution,  Monika MacDonagh-Pajerová and  Šimon Pánek . Monika's ...
Post a Comment
Read more

White settlers and Canada Day: A refusal

Image
  The thought of giving up Canada Day celebrations was initially difficult for me.  I was very attached to Canada Day, without really knowing why.  It wasn't until my kids steadfastly refused to acknowledge "colonizers day" a few years back that I decided to sit down and really think it through.  Why was I so committed to recognizing Canada Day?   The first piece of unpacking I did with respect to this question was an interrogation of who it is that Canada Day benefits.  There's some backstory that's important, mostly because I think it sets the stage for what happens during Canada Day in myriad communities across the country.  Canada Day was a huge deal in the the tiny farm community where I grew up.  There were parades, where every human within a twenty mile radius showed up to swelter in the heat and watch various types of farm equipment drive by.  In parallel, there was also the legendary Sports Day.  Sports Day was always held ...
Post a Comment
Read more

It's not about you: Burnout is systemic and colonial

Image
  A few weeks ago I wrote about how I'm experiencing burnout .  At that time, there wasn't much I could offer other than a description of the sensation...  and if I'm honest it's not likely that I can do much more than that now.  While I am capable of recognizing the state of burnout, I feel largely paralyzed with respect to what I should do to help myself.  As I sort it out, I expect that it will be the topic of another post...  but in the meantime I have been struck by the number of people the post has resonated with--so I feel like it's worthwhile to say a bit more.  I occupy a position of relative security in my job, augmented by the reality that I'm a white settler with a tremendous amount of privilege.  As such, I think I have an opportunity to talk about burnout in ways that others can't do safely - that is, others who find themselves in situations of employment precarity, or those who already experience marginalization in addition to work ...
Post a Comment
Read more

Burnout is colonial

Image
It's official - I am burnt out (you can see my cute little burnt out face above).  My current cognitive and physical state might be best described through imagery: an empty shell, the charred remains of an incinerated home, a tether that has been frayed to its' very last thread.  This goes beyond "low batteries" or a generalized weariness.  I feel entirely sapped.    According to burnout research, most of you have probably experienced it too.  I think you might know the feeling, that feeling where you're perpetually exhausted in a way that feels like a diabolical combination of hangover and jet lag, with none of the fun of travel or a night out.  You stare at your computer screen for long periods of time without mustering the capacity for a coherent thought.  The organization you work for might be structured in such a way where, as your career progresses, you eventually become *the only* -- the only one who is aware of or capable of performing the...
1 comment
Read more

Resisting moves toward comfort

Image
It's February 2025.  Real-time genocide has been ongoing in Gaza (though there was news of a ceasefire recently - perhaps).  The photo above was taken in Chicago--the Trump Tower looming large just after Donald was elected President of the United States yet again.  Alt-right politics and polarity are dominating public discourse.  Fires have just ravaged much of California and the glaciers are all melting at unprecedented speed.  It seems like another pandemic-y virus might be ramping up to spread world-wide.  Hate speech is now unregulated on most social media platforms, and an all-out assault is being waged on anything related to equity, diversity, or inclusion. This sounds like a old-time country music song writ large.  I admit to engaging in the following cycle that has been precipitated by world events: (a) doom-scrolling or reading the news, (b) fretting and agonizing, and then (c) turning away to do something mindless.  Here's how it looks s...
Post a Comment
Read more

Can we resuscitate reconciliation?

Image
  It's the National Day for Truth and Reconciliation in so-called Canada.  I also realized today how long it's been since I last posted to this blog.  I have been caught up in the busy-ness of late-stage capitalism, grinding along to feed the machine, with little thought about how I might stop, breathe, ground, or reflect.  It's becoming ever clearer to me how badly the colonial project hurts us all.  I've included the photo of a lobster mushroom, taken a couple of days ago, because it reminds me of what local Indigenous people might have foraged for in the fall.  These days, the mushrooms have been commodified - and uninvited visitors to this land comb forest pathways and scoop them all up, either to eat or sell, coveted for their "distinct seafood-like taste and aroma."  It's definitely a matter of want instead of need.   My tone likely reads as sardonic today, and I'll admit to you that I feel low.  I follow dozens of Indigenous artis...
2 comments
Read more

Reconciling personal narratives with the truth

Image
  On vacation recently, my extended family and I attended an annual celebration at Pioneer Acres, located close to Irricana, AB.  We've been to this event several times in the past.  There are many things about it that I enjoy and that I'm even comforted by.  For example, this GMC grain truck is an exact replica of my grandpa's--it looks and smells the same and inspires a wide grin of reverie when I see it.  This is the truck that I learned to drive in, and that I zipped around in on the dirt roads to find whatever section of land my dad was harvesting on and required a pick-up from.  I was maybe thirteen or fourteen at the time, and this truck represents a cornerstone of my burgeoning young adulthood.   This year, however, I carried my own warm emotional responses alongside a steadily deepening problematic brewing in my brain.  I have realized that my personal narrative of youth on the farm is nested in a surreptitious, ubiquitous, and toxic...
Post a Comment
Read more